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Surviving as a lesbian in a new land

The Foreigner: Surviving as a lesbian in a new land

by Gia, 19th March, 20014

As Darwin would have put it, life is adaptation, survival of the fittest. The foreign lesbian must therefore adapt in order to survive. What happens when you decide to face your fears and adjust, go face the world and enter the gay scene of a new city?!


The first step…

l recall the famous words of the star trek series: These are the Voyages of the starship Gia and it’s strange, bold new mission to discover and integrate the new gay scene.

First mission: choose a place. discover a bar, a disco, or an event. Finding such a hot spot is already challenging, finding one with women a bit closer to your age that’s a whole different story! In the other hand, at the same time I am taking the first step on the stairway of integration.

iniana jones

Getting In

Location chosen!

Best outfit, make up and heels on. Translation: I’m taking out the big guns here! I leave the house, with just enough confidence to bring me to main entrance of the chosen bar. However, the moment I cross the entrance door, a tingling feeling reaches my feet: and yes, ladies, that is pretty much all my self confidence leaving my body! But I don’t give up! I take a deep breath and carry on. I’ve made this far I’m not backing out now!

Minor detail I forgot to mention: I came to the bar alone. Inspired by Indiana Jones movies, I try to remind myself that the difference between an ordeal and an adventure is just the attitude.

I head towards the bar to get a drink.  Surprisingly enough a girl immediately smiles at me. she approaches me and, dear lord in two seconds I have forgotten the entire english language. To her gentle smile and agreeable, yet discrete hello, all I could answer was: euughh…hi, before i run and hide with my drink!




The dance floor looked appetizing so I make my way. Slowly start dancing, trying not to call to much attention to myself. the next awkward moment happens when I try to approach a girl that looked a lot like the one I had been chatting with on an online dating site! sufficient to say…it wasn’t her!! She accuses me of using the oldest of pickup lines making my face basically turn into the twin sister of a tomato! This was getting more and more disastrous.

At least i got to see my first Drag Queen show…so the night has not been a complete waste.

girls on the dancefloor

In the end

In the midst of slightly awkward moments and intense inner battles with my shyness I realize that the most important thing is to just give it a try!

Put yourself out there and enjoy whatever comes.

Adjusting to a new culture, new country, new language is not always easy. but the effort pays off! It pays off through the stories you gain, the experiences, and above all, through all the fun and adventures you end up living. Either by getting on an online dating site, joining meet groups our just going alone to a bar, it’s worth it!


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